Article By Lizzy Farmer
I want to wear pink eyeliner.
I am thirty.
Is this okay?!
Arrghhh!! You know you are getting older when you have to weigh up if you will look a wee bit ‘mutton’ in trending fashion such as the wonderful ‘River Island’ displays on totally unrealistically proportioned mannequins such as the ones I passed earlier today.
I have not stepped into ‘Topshop’ IN THREE BLOODY YEARS!!!!!!!
Not because of the clothes all being only suitable for pre pubescent Kate Moss descendants but more so due to the face the withering stares off the staff who at 19 think they are ‘totes amaze balls’ and ‘bare fit’ and that you, yes YOU and I with a few kiddies in tow (who are rubbing their sticky mitts onto leather studded hot pants on the very first rail) are not really the kind of person that should be in there?!!!!!?
Is this just me?
Maybe I am paranoid but I now just walk past these shops and look longingly in at things that I will buy online later to save the shame of not fitting into the ‘TINIEST SIZE 12 I HAVE EVER SEE!!!’ And then finding out they don’t stock higher than a 16 when the 14 doesn’t fit either!!!
Goodness I like cake and Doritos so what if I have a bit of a tyre around my belly area!
I don’t actually know what my point is here except to say that you and I were both 15 once, we were the sexy girls who went Saturday shopping with our pocket money going to every shop then back to the first to buy a crochet jumper as they were soooo in! And now just because we are not 21 it does not mean we are not sexy beasts!!!!
I know we may have a few *whispers* varicose veins/cellulite/stretch marks and hairs in odd places (I found a two inch long silver one in the middle of my forehead the other day!!!!!!!!!!!!) What the hell is that all about???!
BUT……I just wish sometimes the feeling of getting a little bit older was not accentuated by certain staff members of a select few shops.
Maybe that is what catalogues are for(!) I don’t know, but I don’t want to do my whole wardrobe shop in M & S just yet, not until I am at least say….35
And don’t even get me started on the wedding dress shopping NIGHTMARE I had! I quote: ‘this one just kisses your curves sweetie’ ARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!
These curves held my three beautiful babies and I am VERY BLOODY PROUD OF THEM!!!!
Much love to all the fellow tyre carriers reading this xxxxx
(You can, if you are still awake, follow me on Twitter, where I occasionally ‘tweet’ mainly vintage related or to have a sound off about life and all its goings ons or have a peek at my shop. It’s full of stuff I buy because I like it, and please feel free to say hi, the amount of people on there who never actually converse but who just ‘follow’ is crazy-I like to chat so drop me a tweet! Xxx)
Other Articles By Lizzie Farmer
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I know the only thing I’ve dared to buy from Topshop recently is a handbag, anything clothing wise would be a way to0 traumatic experience and may just crush my delusion that I’m not a size 8 anymore! Not even close!
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